GameOnYou UK

It looks as if the first reviews for Haze are filtering through and leaving the proverbial glass half empty.  There are only about 3 or so official reviews at the moment but suffice to say, the highest score it has received so far is a 65. Need I say more? This is without a doubt a surprisingly thunderous disappointment. When I say “surprising” I am referring to the look of shock which must be bleeding out of numerous Sony gamers, many of whom who were anticipating this First Person Shooter at least a little.

It looks as if Sony have been talking out of their backside once again with all the hype and promotional videos which they have published in the continual fashion of rarely fulfilling their wild prophecies (which attracted many to invest in their latest console in the first place). Talk about “fan service”, the only service their offering their fans so far appears to be a sharp kick where the sun doesn’t shine.

Hit the jump for the reviews as of yet…
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“Extra, extra, read all about the best burgers in town from all around, people from around world come and get it; the line goes around like a merry go round”

That hopefully has caught your attention. Some of you gaming geeks out there will recognise these lyrics from the popular cult game, Parapper the Rapper 2. You should also remember that Parappa is a rhythm game. The Parappa series gained a cult following which I am secretly a member of so it only seems fit that I am reviewing a game that has just as big a following. The game I am talking about is… Gitaroo man, Publisher Koei’s first foray into the Rhythm game genre.

The story is centred around a shallow nob-head who calls himself U-1, a translation from the original Japanese name, Yu-ichi. The plot involves guitars that save the world, a love triangle, a mad bastard hell bent on world-domination… you get the picture. Also there’s an archetypical “cute” sidekick animal, with an annoying voice (Which is strangely reminiscent of Inspector Gadget’s - Ed), helping/hindering you along the way.

First impressions are good, with a wacky intro the sort you’d expect from a game strictly aimed at the Japanese market, similar to the like of Parappa, Um Jammer Lammy (which came from the creators of Parappa) and We love Katamari. The style is similar to Parappa, with a more Anime/Manga advertising edge. The game throws you straight in at deep end with a brief tutorial, then pack your bags and off to your first opponent.

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Yes, you guessed it… It’s Thursday, also known as New PSN Store Content Day. This week they’re pulling out all the stops and are spewing gloopy, gaming goodness all over our unsuspecting faces.

Read on as we dissect the towering update and pull out the new content and my personal recommendations…
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This has to be one of the funniest video game related pieces of news ever… And Kids wonder why their parents won’t let them play GTA. Well, now we know…

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a “World of Warcraft” tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played “Halo” on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.

(Ed: What have we learned from this? Don’t let your kid order credit cards in your name, dipshit!)

Yo all,

a couple of us were having an intellectual - yet still down-to-earth - conversation last night (feel the power of my hyphens, and equally, my dashes!), and we concluded that we should all play some sort of game on Steam together. Because that’s what sisters do.

To that end, Daniel and I have ordered Dawn of War. I’ve also bought Orange Box so I can get my arse handed to me repeatedly whilst simultaneously being appeased by the jovial, cute visuals.

If you wish to join us in our exploits, you can get Dawn of War with the Winter Assault expansion pack for $20 on Steam, or you can pay £17.99 for the whole anthology on play.com like we did. Plus if anyone has any suggestions for Steam games that we can all get into (read: “afford”), feel free to email me and I shall spare your life. Something that’s either super-arcadey and addictive (with multiplayer), or something that we could employ a bit of teamwork to play preferably.

Don’t forget to look up the GameOnYou Steam Community as well (search for GoYUK), and send us some abuse/join the group.

Dave

It’s free. It’s made by Dice. We want it.

Here are some videos of it in action. Look how fun!

IGN also have a hands-on preview of the game, so get over there and read you some words!

To all you Ninja fans, here’s the official trailer for Ninja Gaiden 2…

It’s got some awesome music accompanying it and ends on a pretty sweet montage (always fade out in a montage). You also get a fistful of dismemberment and an arm’s full of blood and gore. Needless to say, Team Pirate will have to work hard to beat this one. Veeery hard indeed.

Anyway… Montaaaaage

The GameOnYou staff, as critics, have impeccable tastes in computer games. As gamers, however, we betray our best interests in the name of shameless fun. There are a number of titles which can be classed as guilty pleasures. They may be imperfect but we love them.

To see my personal list of modern failures which still make my fingers twitch, hop over the post break…
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For those of you who may not have heard of PlayStation Home yet (it seems to have made much more noise over in the US than it has here in the UK), here is a lengthy video of someone customising their character, running about and generally faffing in the beta.

Imagine this, but with more people faffing about with you. We here at GoYUK Towers are always looking for ways to “get our game on” with our fellow human beings, so we’re pretty excited about what Home might bring to the table in terms of player interaction and immersion. Expect Xbox Live with an avatar, and a lot more potential. Imagine playing Crazy Golf with your avatar then inviting someone over to your virtual house for a whack on your virtual PS1.

Either way, we guarantee that Home will get a mention at E3 this year - hopefully a definite release date too!

That’s right you heard it here first (well maybe not but we like to think so) a HAZE demo has just hit the European PSN Store. From what we’ve read it is currently only available on the European PSN store(s) and it just happens to feature 4 player Co-op…This totally took us by surprise and we are guessing that, from the sounds of laughter we’re hearing from the Sony fanboys that this took them by surprise also. The demo weighs in at a hefty 1GB download so we haven’t had a chance to playtest it yet. What are you waiting for? Head over to the PSN Store and start downloading.

Watch this space for our impressions. In the meantime, try it out and drop us a comment