Have a gander at this ‘cos it’s game related and I like it.

A lot.

Cool Shit.

Having only just seen the Escapist review of No More Heroes, it has put me at a slight disadvantage. I had told myself to write the review and THEN view what Yahtzee had to say. Oops. Still, nevermind eh? Congratulations must first go to me for actually finishing the game, and in the second instance, to the game, for providing me with some welcome and much needed entertainment. I was looking forward to playing this game after enjoying the unpidgeon-holeable killer 7 - seems you can’t mention one without the other - which I loved even though I didn’t quite understand the ending. I guess it means I’ll have to play it again. Boo hoo.

The intro to this game has you killing assassin number eleven. This sets the story of your character then killing the top ten assassins in a bid to become the number one assassin. Boy, that’s a lot of ass. Whilst initial feelings of GTA copycatness will explode in your ‘I thought this was going to be original’ part of your brain, you should accept that certain aspects to the game will be familiar because if they weren’t, I don’t think game would be as playable as it is. Because it isn’t trying to be GTA or killer 7 or Cooking Mama or whatever, it excels in its own right. This is essentially a linear game with side quests to help you earn money to finish the main story which progresses the game which explains the story. You should note that this is not me criticising the game, just clarifying that I know what it’s doing and am happy with the way in which it is doing it. So far, so vague. Read more »

If you didn’t know this, then let us tell you now that Namco Museum, recently released on the DS, has the very brilliant Pac-man Vs. Originally released as a freebie with R:Racing on the GameCube, the few people that bought it probably played it more than the driving game - although only after unlocking the shower scene - it was at the time in doubt if it was ever going to be released in the UK. I have seen this pack for the princely sum of £25 minus a penny and it contains some other games as well. What? You think I should? But who cares? Its worth the money by itself.

OK. OK. You also get Pac-Man (probably the original - no bad thing as it’s timeless and everything), The Tower Of Druaga (played it on MAME and I think its slow and not very good. In fact I always thought it was the name of another game, Dragon Buster, which is ace), Mappy (good platform bouncy game), Dig Dug II (if I have played this I don’t remember what the difference is between this and the first one. Speaking of the first one, whenever I played it on my mate’s 2600 I was always wanting to play Mr. Do on his Dragon 32 instead) plus shoot-em-up lovelies Galaga, Galaxians and Xevious (the latter being a particular fave of mine. And no, Nintendo, I wasn’t going to spend a tenner on it for my GBA, as much as I like it).

So there you have it; one rare as rockin’ horse-shit brill game with 7 freebies. Nice!

Ed: Myk goes on a hangover-fuelled rant about the Great Graphical Debate. With not a hint of objectivity in sight. Just the way we like it:

Humans, eh? Attracted to each other as they are, if they don’t get what they want, they go somewhere else. Now I find the opposite sex really rather nice, but if Saturday night doesn’t produce one that catches my eye, then I can find a selection of images that just might. Simple really. I do not think any less of these people or make assumptions about their private life.

But deviancy can be better levelled at another, less obvious type of character; graphic whores. These obsessive, whining miscreants do nothing but infest the gaming community with dismissive, casual comments but all it realises is how anal and retarded their viewpoints actually are. Geometry Wars on the 360 played through in High Definition is undoubtedly spectacular, but this does not mean that the Wii version lacks any game substance from that found on the aforementioned XBox 360.

From here I could go into detail about the Dreamcast version of Soul Calibur still looking great or Exit on the PSP, and soon to be the DS, which just looks ace. Blah Blah Blah, etc. The point is that these people need to be set on fire and pushed over a very tall, dry cliff. Keep looking for next time when the merits of development milestones just means the introduction of marketing dross for mass-market consumption.

Absurd though it might seem, the industry of computer games and all its bretheren are in a small cycle of flux. In recent years, we have seen the spectacular crash of E3 and the rise of smaller, more focused gatherings that adhere to something a little more down to earth. That of slagging off each others consoles because they don’t fit within our specific lifestyles. Well let me tell you a little known fact this side of ‘Electric Town’ :- all electronic games are not worth the entrance fee, let alone the bit of plastic/metal/chuffbox they were printed on.

My current favourite console to slag off is the Nintendo Foreskin. So called due to the abstract colours they were initially launched with. Now call me Mr Game Hater if it makes you feel any better, but this constant rubbing of the peripheral on my genitalia does not good interactive entertainment make. Just give me a week to let the swelling subside and I’ll show you just what I think of the whole idea.

Next time, I think I’ll have a go at the ‘American Mother Swallowers of small independant games developers who haven’t shown an ounce of originality since the dawn of mankind’, EAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!’